The sound of silence

January 29, 2008 at 9:10 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

I was half watching TV last night and for some reason watched a few of the ads in between TV shows. One was about hair dye, the other about anti-wrinkle cream and some kind of collagen thing.

I assume they think only women watch these shows because not a single ad dealt with men ageing. Am I the only one who is bothered by this?

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All in a name

January 21, 2008 at 2:26 pm (feminism, love, sexist) (, , , )

Should a woman take her husband’s name when she marries?

This is one of those questions that can evoke so many emotions – irritations, anger, despair, amusement. . . it all depends on which side you’re on.

It’s fine for women who want it but I won’t take someone else’s surname. I know many of my married friends have taken their husband’s surnames and they’re all independent, intelligent women so it doesn’t mean that if you do take his name that you suddenly become braindead.

But I can’t see why I should do it to if I ever decide to take that step.

Usually any discussion about this ends in an argument. My dad (with whom I had this argument yesterday) believes your marriage will never be a union if you don’t take your husband’s name. I of course think that’s crap.

Why should your bond be defined by whose name you have? Why does not having your husband’s surname make your marriage any less solid? And why should you be the one who has to change your name?

My argument is that I am not the property of any man so why should I take his name? I know many women don’t see it that way (and that’s fine) but I already have a name and don’t need another, thank you very much.

If the whole ‘sharing one life’ thing is so important why can’t he take your surname? Because we’re still a patriarchal, male-dominated society and that kind of thing would never happen, that’s why. And in my mind that’s just another reason to not do it – the sheer sexism in this way of thinking is simply too much for me.

My partner, fortunately, understands. But my dad and others like him just don’t get it. It’s not just about a name; it’s about a way of thinking and an attitude towards your life.

What do you think?

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