An open letter to Mr Construction Dude

April 26, 2007 at 3:05 pm (annoying, desk, frustrated, work)

Dear Mr Construction Dude 
I resent having to walk down, then up, two floors, to pee. It’s already annoying having to walk to those cattle kraals (six in a row and you can hear if the other person is breathing) on the best of days so when you ensure that the one on my floor is out of order because you want to build or something, I will not be impressed.
Aside from the fact that I’m forgetful and am shocked every time I walk into a bathroom full of men, I now have to go to the Newspaper People’s toilets. Not cool. The newspaper people are not like us magazine people. They don’t like us. For some reason they think we don’t work as hard as they do.
Please Mr Construction Dude, get done with my floor’s bathrooms. I don’t want to walk that far even though my hip to waist ratio will surely thank you for it. I don’t want to walk out of the bathroom and end up on the wrong floor because I’ve forgotten I’m in someone else’s  lavatory. It’s just bizarre and people keep saying, “I haven’t seen you around here before.”
In a toilet, that’s a weird thing to be hearing.
So Mr Construction Dude…you have one week in which to finish the job. I’m giving you that much time. When I return from my trip I want to use the ladies’ room on my floor. That’s all I ask. It’s not much. 
Yours in the search for private loos
Toby Hanks

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Twist in a circle

April 20, 2007 at 9:51 am (frustrated, jerk, work)

Traffic circles are killing me. They really are. Have you ever tried getting in and out of a traffic circle without wanting to burst a blood vessel? Well lucky you then. Me, not so lucky.
Every morning when I leave for work I have to brace myself to enter that potential death wheel because people in Cape Town clearly have no clue about how it works.
It’s quite simple really: you indicate, wait for cars inside the circle to pass; stay in the lane that takes you around/out (whichever you’re doing); exit. That’s all. But no, we have driver’s whose brains shut down when in a traffic circle.
Jirrie, a person can’t handle it anymore.

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April 2, 2007 at 4:23 pm (Port Elizabeth, work)

Hello all you lovely people. If you’re wondering why I’m so quiet it’s because I’m doing some of this work stuff. You know, the thing you do to get paid…
Anyway, I’m off to another province tomorrow to do some serious story stuff. Until then, be good.

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No Human Rights

March 21, 2007 at 6:49 am (human rights day, public holiday, work)

It’s Human Rights Day in South Africa today – a public holiday. But clearly I don’t have human rights because I’m stuck at work and still going to be here for a long time. It’s deadline day so there’s no way I’m going home before 8pm. Nice, huh?

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