A smoky, hazy memory

April 26, 2007 at 8:07 am (advertising, wellbeing)

There it was. A pack of smokes resting in the centre of the glossy page of the magazine. It looked beautifully styled (if you can imagine a pack of styled ciggies, that is).
It looked odd and out of place. It jarred the senses and was immediately noticeable; not because of the luscious pink and blank background but because it just looked out of place in a woman’s magazine.
But before the ailing Manto gets wind of this, let me explain. I was reading an international mag (one of the perks of my job) and there it was: a pack of Camels. Light and luscious, read the tagline.
I thought about my instantaneous reaction to it (I usually ignore ads completely) and wondered why I’d even registered the ad. Then realised it’s because it seemed so unusual.
See, I am young enough to not have been exposed to many of them but old enough to remember the ads of the Marlboro Man and Co. It just seems weird to see cigarette advertising now so I guess old Manto got her way – no more corrupting the youth with this sexy stuff.
Do you remember the times when people could smoke in malls, taxis, busses, offices, etc? I wasn’t even smoking by the time the bans were put in place but remember my mom being very PO’d when she couldn’t get her fix while doing her weekly grocery shopping. When she got that look my sister and I would split – you do not want to get in the way of a nicotine-starved mom with a trolley on a Friday night…
Anyway, even though I’m smoker, I think it was the best thing she of the beetroot/garlic wisdom could’ve done. I’m all for taking charge of your body and messing it up if you want but I do feel bad when I see non-smokers battling against the white curls when they’re exposed.
What I’m trying to figure out now, though, is why I still see nine-year-old kids bumming a cigarette (Wat? Is jy befok? Dra jy nie nog ’n nappy nie?!) and trying to look grown-up. A fat lot of good banning the ads did for them.
Maybe our Minister of Madness should insist all smokes be infused with garlic and lemon from this day on…

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I have boobs and bums

April 24, 2007 at 8:44 pm (advertising, annoying, diets, exercise, fat rolls, weight, wellbeing)

I’m a big, loathsome fatass.
At least that’s what some women’s magazines would have me believe (more about that in a different post later). Apparently being anything over a size 10 is a social crime akin to saying you lust after your brother. At least I haven’t reached that level of depravity, right?
Anyway, back to the weight and my new issues with it. Rossgen and I hit the stores because she needed to look fabulicious (her word) for a function she had to attend. I have a wedding to attend so thought I’d try on a few things while in the shop. MISTAKE!
Not since the days when I sulked out of Hilton Weiner’s child-sized-clothing stores have I felt so bad about my body. I mean, hello: I have bums and boobs; a bit of cushioning on the hip and long limbs. Am I such a freak that no store has clothes that fit me?
Apart from the obvious “shall I take a 12/14/16 because they’re never the same”, anything that looks remotely stylish only comes in sizes 10 and below. And when I do fit on a size 12/14 it looks like a sausage caught in it’s skin when you’re frying it in a pan. Yuck.
Now, of course, you could say, um, Toby, maybe it’s because you’re “well-endowed”? Well-endowed my ass. I am a normal, healthy (ok, so I’m semi-healthy because I smoke and eat junk) young woman.
I have a healthy BMI of 22,5 according to the Mayo Clinic (click on Metric to get our measurements). I have normal curves and I’m quite happy with them so why can’t all those losers who make clothes try and make me spend my money?
Do they have any idea how starved curvy women are for nice clothes that fit – here’s a whole untapped industry I say. And African lasses don’t want the skinny tie-me-to-a-pole-so-I-don’t-blow-away kind of waists.
Unless of course I’m in the minority in which case I’ll just have to fume and continue my search for a good tailor/dressmaker to cover my bootylicious body.

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Just working it

April 18, 2007 at 9:42 pm (colleagues and friends, wellbeing)

It’s almost 10pm and I’m still at work. Ja, true. But I’m surrounded by the coolest people so it’s not that bad. Sally has the sharpest sense of humour and had me rolling on the ground (plus she brought in some delicious chocolate cake which helped us survive the night); Jerry Clyde is talking about some bra from Lavender Hill who he thinks is a loser; I’m arguing about the strengths and weaknesses of pictures that we’re seeing…it’s not a normal night but I’m loving it.
I can’t wait to go home though. My bed is calling my name and I’m longing to succumb…

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