All in a name

January 21, 2008 at 2:26 pm (feminism, love, sexist) (, , , )

Should a woman take her husband’s name when she marries?

This is one of those questions that can evoke so many emotions – irritations, anger, despair, amusement. . . it all depends on which side you’re on.

It’s fine for women who want it but I won’t take someone else’s surname. I know many of my married friends have taken their husband’s surnames and they’re all independent, intelligent women so it doesn’t mean that if you do take his name that you suddenly become braindead.

But I can’t see why I should do it to if I ever decide to take that step.

Usually any discussion about this ends in an argument. My dad (with whom I had this argument yesterday) believes your marriage will never be a union if you don’t take your husband’s name. I of course think that’s crap.

Why should your bond be defined by whose name you have? Why does not having your husband’s surname make your marriage any less solid? And why should you be the one who has to change your name?

My argument is that I am not the property of any man so why should I take his name? I know many women don’t see it that way (and that’s fine) but I already have a name and don’t need another, thank you very much.

If the whole ‘sharing one life’ thing is so important why can’t he take your surname? Because we’re still a patriarchal, male-dominated society and that kind of thing would never happen, that’s why. And in my mind that’s just another reason to not do it – the sheer sexism in this way of thinking is simply too much for me.

My partner, fortunately, understands. But my dad and others like him just don’t get it. It’s not just about a name; it’s about a way of thinking and an attitude towards your life.

What do you think?

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More pics the pervs will love

September 10, 2007 at 9:04 am (cellphone porn, MXit, nice girls, pervert, sexist, stupid)

Call me a prude if you want but I am really shocked by this story about kids having sex in malls.I’d heard about it on the radio but though it was one or two (which is bad enough) getting up to mischief. Now it’s the norm rather than the exception.When I was that age I barely knew why boys existed (hmm, could still say that now sometimes), much less that we could get our freak on in a public toilet! And I’m really not that old.

I don’t know what is worse: the fact that they’re having sex in toilets or the fact that they’re distributing it among their friends.

Who has been teaching these kids? Where do they get these ideas from? What happened to getting drunk once so you can achieve rebel status?

I just can’t imagine why girls would do this to themselves. Our reputation is torn to shreds, you lose all self-respect and people will always point and laugh.

We all know there are still double-standards and that the guys will come out as studs and heroes. I’m not saying it’s right but we know that’s how it is and we still have a long way to go before we get rid of that way of thinking.

So knowing this, why would any girl with half a braincell subject herself to this kind of humiliation?

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June 1, 2007 at 8:38 am (feminism, sexist, women's rights)

Julia was at her wide-mouthed best last night (ja, I watched Mona Lisa Smile on etv!). But this movie disturbed me more than I care to admit.
If it is historically more or less accurate – and I suspect it is – I am so eternally grateful I was not alive in the 1950s. School nurses being fired for handing out contraception; university (!) students having to take lessons on how to look after their husbands and kids; 30 years old being seen as old maid… Oh, I feel faint just thinking of it.
I can’t imagine not being able to choose whether I want to be on contraceptives or have an abortion. Not being able to choose what I want to do or having my own thoughts. Unable to do anything on my own and being labeled an outcast if I have free will. Having to get married so young – then just being married and nothing else. And having to take classes on how to run a home/please your man? In his dreams, ja.
I just can’t imagine that life, the injustice of it all. How did women survive? How did they get through it?
How did they go to bed at night thinking, “Wow, what a great life, I’m so happy.”
How could things have gone on like this?

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Shaking that ass

June 1, 2007 at 8:33 am (gross, nice girls, sexist)

Has anyone seen the music video of Shakira and Beyonce gyrating all over the screen? Excuse me, I thought it was just sexist men who had boobs and bums all over the show.
Call me a prude but how ridiculous are these two rubbing up against walls, each trying to outwiggle the other?
These are two accomplished women who have great voices – do they really need to wear strips of leather, wet dresses and nipple-covers and simulate sexual acts against walls to make more money?
I don’t know…maybe I’m just overreacting but women did not fight long and hard to objectify themselves in this way when there are more than enough men to do it for them.

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Fluit, fluit, my storie’s uit

May 22, 2007 at 12:41 pm (annoying, pervert, sexist, stupid)

Hallo meneer. Ek issie nie ’n hond nie. Moetie vi my fluit as ek veby loepie want ek klap jou lippe van jou gevriet af.
The guy’s downstairs are dragging in building materials when I walked by. Whistling ensued. I was never one of those girls who felt flattered by this childish gesture. What is it with building dudes? Do they need a lobotomy before they can apply for the job? Why do they think women will respond positively to being whistled at?
So sê vi my as jy ooit ’n ou gegul ’et omdat hy vi jou fluit sodat ekkit
kan memorise en die dom doos lekka op sy plek sit assit ooit weer gebeur.

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The biggest boob

April 10, 2007 at 6:45 am (advertising, bimbo, cricket World Cup, patronising, sexist, VW Jetta)

There are currently two ads competing for my Ad I Hate Most award. The first is probably going to be off soon as it’s Cricket World Cup related.
If you’re not sure which one I’m talking about check in between matches – patriotic music playing in the background while our boys get dressed; fans waving flags and then…some bimbo sliding on a SA top while doing the requisite hair flip.
After Graham, Polly, Ntini and co have run (slow motion no less) down the passage we see girlfriend jiggling up and down so her ample cleavage can be shown across the nation. Nice.
The second one, which is definitely getting my knickers in a well-defined knot, is the VW Jetta ad where the loser asshole calls his date telling her he’s on his way then gets “caught” in a carnival. He then proceeds to shake it with all the scantily clad women while his date waits. Hours (I presume) later he rocks up at her house, and she, only after seeing his car, lets him in.
This is 2007 yet we still see this sexist bullshit on our screens. In a country where staying alive is an achievement this is a small thing to be irked about but, dammit, I get into a furious frenzy every time I see it. I can’t believe women are still treated as brainless bimbos who are only good for jiggling what their mama’s gave them and being so shallow they’d let a guy get away with anything because they have a cool car.I’m preparing to go to war.

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