A face made for talking

April 10, 2008 at 12:50 pm (private personal space) (, )

I like to think I’m a decent, nice person. But there are limits. When I’m sitting/standing somewhere I don’t really expect complete strangers to ask if they can join me then start a random conversation.

This has now happened three times in the space of one week. I kid you not.

The first was a random PR who asked if she could sit at my table because she hates sitting alone. I said fine but thought it a bit weird. Before I’d finished my smoke I’d heard about her two dogs who died from the poisoned dog food, how she’d sue Woolworths and how her cat eats only Epol. I’m not even joking.

The other was a guy who told me about his days in the army and how much fun it was. His brain must’ve been addled because he failed to notice the fact that I’m coloured and would certainly not approve of their fun activities in apartheid army.

Then this morning the lady from the bookshop downstairs asked if she can sit at my table because she ‘can’t walk another step’ (the next table was literally another step away). I said fine (why do I do that?!) and she want on to tell me about her new kid and how she was awake at 4am to do ironing, blah, blah.

Can’t a girl just have a cigarette in peace? It’s enough to make anyone quit. I really don’t invite these strangers. They just seem to find it very easy to ask me to sit with me. It’s weird and freaking me out just a tad. I am probably the most antisocial person I know, so heaven knows company is the last thing I want when I go outside alone.

Next time I’ll wear my don’t-fuck-with-me face. Perhaps that will help.

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Another quiz

December 6, 2007 at 1:56 pm (private personal space) ()

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? My cellphone bill. The service is shit, the rates exorbitant. . .need I say more?

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? At Jewel of India in the V&A.

3. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? Nothing. If you mess with one thing everything else would have to change too.

4. Name of your first grade teacher? Leslie. She was later hijacked by one of the school’s former pupils and so traumatised she had to quit.

5. What do you really want to be doing right now? I want to be in bed.

6. What did you want to do when you were growing up? An air hostess, a teacher, a writer, a grown up.

7. How many universities did you attend? Two. Is this relevant in any way?

8. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? It was the top one in my drawer.

9. What are your thoughts on gas prices? Don’t really care cos I only fill my car about once a month. I’m lucky that way.

10. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be? Brazil. With my partner.

11. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Where the hell is the snooze button?

12. Last thought before going to sleep last night? I really can’t remember. I think I was reading and just fell asleep while doing that.

13. Favorite underwear? Ek praatie uittie onneklere laai nie.

14. Favorite thing about the opposite sex? They’re waaaay less complicated.

15. What errand/chore do you despise? Taking out the trash. Fortunately I have a great partner who does it for me.

16. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer? Absolutely

17. Get up early or sleep in? Daft question. Of course I’d sleep in.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character? Dot of Animaniacs fame.

19. BMI? 2 bazillion.

20. Secret Indulgence? I watch America’s Next Top Model sometimes *blush*

21. Do you pretend to really like people you don’t…really like? Depends. For work, I have to. Personal life, no.

22. When did you first start feeling old? I don’t feel old.

23. Favorite Radio Station? I don’t have one.

24. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? Yes, he’s a riot.

25. At this point in your life, would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Neither but if I had to it would be new career. Nothing wrong with the relationship I have.


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Yet another quiz

October 26, 2007 at 9:08 am (private personal space) ()

Thanks to my friend Cara for this.

1.When is the last time you held hands with someone? A few minutes ago on the stairs.

2. You wake up as the opposite gender, what’s the first thing you do? Try to find the alarm button so you can smash it.

3. Have you ever climbed out a window? Yep. Let’s not go into details, ok.

4. Where is your mum? At home in Mitchell’s Plain.

5. Morning or night person? Definitely night.

6. What was the last movie you watched? New – Knocked up (it was bad); old – When Harry Met Sally (I still love it).

7. Do you have a crush on anyone right now? Can you have a crush on someone if you’re in a relationship with that person?

8. Any cool scars? I have scars but I wouldn’t consider them cool.

9. Things about the opposite sex you notice first? Hands, eyes.

10. What do you do when no one is watching? Pull at the waistband of my pants, especially when I’m having a fat week.

11. Ever been in love? Yes.

12. What’s something your friends make fun of you for? I’m very clumsy and very forgetful. Sometimes at the same time.

13. What is your curfew? Er…huh?

14. Would you ever dye your hair red? I don’t think so. Have never put any dye on my hair because I’m way to lazy to maintain it.

15. You + alcohol = very chatty

16. What’s your worst personality flaw? I try to help even when it’s not wanted.

17. What career would you wish to be in? I’ve already got it.

18. Which country would you like to visit? Brazil.

19. Do you want a well paying job or a job you enjoy? A job I enjoy.

20. Do you wish to have the same best friends when you’re older? Yes. I’ve had many for years and years already.

21. Do you believe in needing a religion? No.

22. What did you wear today? I’m wearing black pants and a black top. Does this surprise you at all?

23. When were you last on the phone? About an hour ago. I’m developing an intense hatred for phones.

24. What shoes did you wear today? Black takkies.

25. Do you like maths? After failing it, I’d have to say… no.

26. What about history? Dropped it when I was standard 7. I think it was the teacher more than the subject. She wore white pantyhose with white courtshoes. Really.

27. Have you ever seen 5 squirrels at one time? Yes – at the gardens in town.

28. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I haven’t tried it and am not about to. (Betcha guys will be reading the next answer with their tongues waggling towards their noses.)

29. Do you have a brother? One.

31. Who’s your favourite person to talk to? Mom, Mrs M, my partner. (There are more but let’s keep it tight for now.)

32. Have you ever used ‘photobucket’? No.

33. Do you like hugs? I’m not touchy-feely but a hug here and there never killed anyone (unless they hugged an Ebola-infected person or something like that.)

35. Do you want to be a doctor? Nope. Blood = hurl; Needles = faint.

36. Have you ever fallen asleep with gum in your mouth? Nope.

38. What’s the first thing you do in the morning? Hit the snooze button.

39. Do you brush your teeth everyday? What a dumb question. Of course. Would anyone who doesn’t brush their teeth actually say that here?

40. Would you date a girl/guy with hair longer than yours? I think I did at one stage when my hair was really short but I don’t like long hair on guys.

41. Do you want to be famous? No.

42. Do you spend a lot of time contemplating life’s causes? Yes. That’s why I’ll never be 100% happy.

43. Do you do your own laundry? Yes. The day I got a washing machine I felt very grown up. Now I just need a tumble-dryer and I’m practically middle-aged.

44. Whats the last thing you Drank? Water. I’m on a new drive to up my water intake (apparently it’s healthy).

45. Last song you sang? Dancing Queen by Abba. It’s my feel-good song; I sing as loud as I can in my car then watch the bemused faces of other drivers. It makes me feel almost as good as the song does.

46. Last person you hugged? My partner. He’s an excellent hugger.

47. Last thing you laughed at? There are so many. Can’t remember a specific thing.

48. Last time you cried? Three weeks ago.

49. What colour are your bed sheets? Current ones are beige.

50. What colour is the carpet in your bedroom? I don’t have carpets. Yet, with all this pollen and dust floating around, I still look like Rudolph after he’s been in a fight.

51. What’s under your bed? Nothing. That I know of anyway…

52. What time did you wake up today? 6.30am. Ok, ok, I snoozed until 6.45.

53. Current annoyance? PMS. Hair. Phones.

54. Current desktop background? A picture of me lying on rocks, taken in Mauritius. Before you think I’m vain: you can’t see it’s me.

* MrsM, Gnome and The Divine Miss M, consider yourselves tagged.

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The best holiday

October 19, 2007 at 9:13 am (private personal space) ()

It’s good to be back. There’s nothing like a good holiday to refresh and rejuvenate.  

We went to a little village in the Overberg called McGregor. It’s tiny but lovely. The cottage we stayed in was in an orchard and had no tv, no radio, no internet access.

If you’re every heading that way check out McGregor cottages. All it had was a fireplace, a couch to snuggle in and a huge rug on which to play a game of Scrabble or two. But it was quaint and had all the necessary amenities. It was perfect. 

There are so many fantastic little eating places that I stuffed myself every day. All the food is fresh and the hosts are generous with their portions. Green Gables made the most fantastic toasted mushroom burger; Temaldi’s had a fabulous chicken wrap and the deli had some interesting breads and other delicacies. I could fill this entire blog with just food stuff… 

Since we were on the famous Route 62, drinking good wine was a must. There are wine farms galore which was great for my red wine-loving partner. Graham Beck, fine champagne makers, did it for me though. Nothing like icy bubbly to brighten up the day, I’ve found. 

So many people are astounded when I say there was no tv or anything like that there. I find it weird that they do. For me holiday means switching off from everything that I have in my ‘normal’ life. No noise, no pollution, no nothing. Absolute bliss. 

But, all good things come to an end. So I’m here and hopefully strong enough to make it through the next few mad deadline months. Although I’m feeling very sorry for myself, having to be here, I’m sure you all will keep me entertained and amused.

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Birthday girl

October 2, 2007 at 9:36 am (private personal space)

So the 21st finally happened. It was great.

The food was fine, the venue nice, the music fantastic. My sister looked gorgeous in a red dress with the most impossible heels ever.

Daar was niks van tiaras of champagne girls wat in dans of ’n kleintjie met die 21st key nie. Niksie, so die wat iets wil gesê het van ’n coloured 21st kan maar vergiet.

There were the usual drunk uncles and surly aunts; the lewd cousins and the dodgy-looking friends. But most of them were well behaved so I didn’t have to through a wobbly at all.
There was a tense moment when one cousin displayed his colouredness by bringing his uninvited friends to the place but all in all people kept it together.

Sadly, I forgot half of my speech and forgot to do the whole champagne thing but I blame it on excessive nervousness brought on by the thought of public speaking. (All while balancing on heels and checking my boobs weren’t popping out of my top.)

I got lots of compliments – so many that I’ve realised I need to do something about my appearance. Apparently people were shocked I could actually look decent!
But if I think about the fact that my feet were still aching two days after the event, I realise once again why I’m destined to be a jeans and takkies kinda girl. There is NO way I’ll subject myself to that kind of torture every day.

Glad the event is over and done with now though. Heaven help us if a wedding should roll around anytime soon…

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Pointless people

August 20, 2007 at 9:10 am (annoying, private personal space)

People annoy me. Ok, not all the time but there are days when I just don’t get the point of people. A few examples this weekend again reminded me why I wouldn’t be sad if I had to sit alone in a room for most of my days.
And dear reader, I kid you not, this in just two days. Just two.

At the cinema: If you’re paying to see a film why the hell do you play around on your cellphone and chat in a dark cinema? Go away. I want to see Homer be dumb without having your annoying voice/light in my space.  

At a mall: Don’t move my stuff out of the way if I’m ahead of you in the queue. Wait your turn. Don’t stand so close to me. And, PLEASE, don’t cough on me while you’re moving my stuff to put your hideously kitsch teddy bear on the counter.

On the road: If you don’t understand the meaning of “safe distance”, let me point out you will fuck into my car if I slip even a centimetre. Do you understand that? When I roll forward to get away from you it does not mean I want to get closer. My car is not some Main Road prozzie looking to get her bum rubbed by you.

In the bakery/restaurant: Lady, what part of I-was-here-first did you not get? I. Was. Here. First. That means you have to wait until I am done before you can be helped. Do not scream at the girl behind the counter because she was helping me. She was doing her job and you, fake tan and all, are a waste of human space. 

At the garage: Is your big-ass, killing-the-environment vehicle trying to compensate for something else, Mister? Don’t bully us little cars just because you’re in a hurry. The pumps aren’t going to run away you now.

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Change is good?

August 13, 2007 at 9:03 am (private personal space)

So many things happened in the past week that my head is still kind of spinning.
I’m not averse to change but when it happens so fast it’s a bit tough to get used to.
Suddenly you start thinking about things you’ve never given a minute’s thought. Where am I and where do I want to be? Do I like the space I’m in or do I need more? Do I want to stay or go? Do I want to work or study?
Questions, questions. Not always answers.
Sometimes I think I think too much. Why can’t I just let things be without analysing it to death? Why can’t I just accept without questioning? Hmmm…life would certainly be easier, wouldn’t it?
I’m at a crossroads at which I don’t really need to be – it’s simply a by-product of thinking too much.
If I believed in a God, I could pray. But I don’t have that safety net. So what do I do?

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Ten worst things

July 18, 2007 at 9:14 am (private personal space)

I’ve been tagged by Mrs M to write about the ten worst things (or at least the ones my subconscious hasn’t completely blocked out), so here goes:  

1.       The first time I failed my driver’s licence. I was so confident I’d get it that I just burst into tears on the spot when he told me to get out of the car. 

2.       When someone I trusted lied to me. I forgave her and she stabbed me in the back again. Nice huh? I really knew how to choose gems back then. 

3.       The day my parents found out I smoked. I nearly died when I saw the disappointed look in my dad’s eyes. The death thing could also just be because they nearly killed me…

4.       The day a teenage romance turned sour when the prick involved said I couldn’t kiss properly – in the presence of many of our peers plus two girls (they were drainrotte) I really hated. I wanted to smash his face in but just walked off really fast. 

5.       When I watched The Constant Gardener. I bawled and bawled.  And every time – ever since being old enough to realise what’s going on there – I think about Iraq, Darfur, Zimbabwe, Cambodia, etc. It breaks my heart every time I think about it too much. 

6.       Losing money was something I did often but the day I had to pay the electricity bill (it was long ago, ok) and lost about R400 was bad. R400 was a lot then. My mom never trusted me with the purple ones again. 

7.       The day an ex accused me of being the reason he was addicted to drugs. It’s not as if I put the thing in his hand and forced him to smoke it but the thought I’d somehow had something to do with his addiction (I didn’t) haunted me for a long time. 

8.       Every time I did something stupid and fell over: out of a caravan (that wasn’t moving); over tent ropes (it was dark all right); walking into a pole (was looking at something else); the time I…(I think I’ll stop here thank you very much). 

9.       The day a ten-year-old me wrote my six-year-old sister a letter telling her I hated her and wanted her to disappear. My mom found the note and gave me a good talking to (more like screaming/skelling to) and told me what a bad sister I was. I didn’t geddit at the time but her voice sounded scary so I cried enough for her to believe I felt bad. 

10.   Slipping in wet bird shit at school WHILE WEARING A SKIRT. Then being unable to get up because I’d injured my leg. Then having to get a Voltaren shot to the ass. Then having to go back to school unable to sit properly. For six months I wobbled in those uncomfortable public school desks. And I obviously had to endure the laughter which, frankly, wasn’t as bad as the pain in the butt.

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Smear fear

July 9, 2007 at 8:35 am (private personal space)

I thought long and hard about writing about this. I’m all for sharing but some things are probably best kept to yourself.
But then I figured it should be written about because all women should – nay must – have it done. I went for a Pap smear.
Being the type of fixes every medical problem with Nurofen/Disprin/Flutex/Sinuclear, I was obviously shit scared of going to the doctor to have her examine me there.
For heaven’s sake, I haven’t been to the dentist since 1999 because I’m too scared. And that’s only my mouth!
It didn’t really make it easier that she was a woman (but much better than if it were a man of course).
The doctor was lovely; chatting to make me relax but the prospect of having someone scrape around in those bits did not inspire relaxation, I can tell you that.
Eventually we got down to the thing after I stupidly asked her if I should remove my underwear (clearly my brain doesn’t work the right way around when confronted with such dilemmas as I was in that surgery room.).
After explaining what would happen (Aaaaarrrrgh!!!), she must’ve figured I wanted to bolt because she started talking about things which I, to this minute, can’t remember. I responded and it was soon over with.
All in all it wasn’t that bad – now that I know what it’s about and that it’s more inconvenient than sore, I won’t mind going again.
It’s not going to top my most-favourite-things-to-do list any time soon, but it’s certainly vital. It was just a bit cold and obviously weird having my legs opened to a strange person.
But at least I know I don’t have cervical cancer and I now know I’m not as much of a wimp as I thought I was.

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What’s a girl to do?

July 6, 2007 at 12:37 pm (private personal space)

Ja, Mrs M. Dis alwee’ tyd vi een van die posts. True to the roots en what what. Jy wiet mos meisie…
Ek het ‘n problem. Ek’s mos op Facebook en nou kry ek amal die mense wat ek gesideline het op skool op die ding.
Within minutes na ek op is, minutes, mense, kry ek invitations van mense wat ek al van vegiet het. You know, those you passed on your way to class but didn’t always have lus to talk to.
Anyway, toe poke die girl my op Facebook. Sy wassie eintlik my tjommie nie ma’ ek accept ha maar anyway. Don’t want to be rude and all that.
Ma nou wiet ekkie wat om te doen nie. Sien, die girl sien mos ek en ’n anne bra skryf van ha trou fotas.
Ek en hy gesels lekkertjies van die fodies en what what. Toe sy nou sien os praat vannie fotas raak sy mos nou lekka bus.
Sal sy nie vi my ’n message stuur om vi my te vra wat hy vi my vannie fotas gesê nie. Dan sê sy nogals “I know I’m nosy”.
Hullo wat? Of course is jy nosy. As hy wil geherrit jy moet sien sal hy mos oppie wall geskryfit.
Ma nou wat sê ek vi ha? Moet ek ha sê sy’s bus of net los?. Ek wil ha nie sê wat hy gesêrritie wan is anyways nie ha besagheitie.
En sy’s van daai soote wat sal dukhou. Sy’s amper soes ’n bosluis wattie wil vrekkie. Jirrie, wat maak ’n man nou?

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