Daddy dear, please grow up

September 5, 2007 at 9:45 am (family)

Save us from our parents. Heaven knows they’re good for us but sometimes I just want to break shit after a conversation with my dad.
He, in his infinite wisdom, has now decided he’s the alpha and omega when it comes to invitations. My sister turns 21 later this month and they’re having a do.
Since I was the antisocial one who didn’t want a load of strangers fawning over me, it’s the first time they’re actually planning something like this so I expected some excitement. But this is too much.
Needless to say the fan is being royally hit at every corner. Daddy dearest hasn’t the faintest clue what one does with invitations and the like but has now become the biggest dispenser of advice. Spare me.
If he wasn’t my dad I would give him a lekker piece of mind but for now I’ll have to manage with heavy sighs, shrill voices and meaningful pause.
On this one I kinda won because he changed his mind to what my sister wanted (she works through me; it’s easier that way).
But, dear readers, believe me when I say this won’t be the last on this subject. Until that 21st is over I’m guessing I’ll be venting about it here quite a lot.

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RIP Anna-Nicole

May 16, 2007 at 11:37 am (Anna-Nicole Smith, drugs, drunk, family, gossip, painkillers, private personal space)

An excellent story about the history of Prozac (it’s 20 this year) and all that sticks out in my mind is that Anna-Nicole Smith’s dog, Sugarpie, was also on Prozac. I need a holiday!
And speaking of Anna-Nicole…I’m rather appalled that her dairies have been released. I must admit I have read of the excerpts and I’m ashamed to have done so. I would die should anyone read that kind of things if I’d written them. Shame, the poor woman can’t even have any dignity in death.
From hereon, as I did with Diana, I will no longer read Anna-Nicole stuff. Or, more honestly, I’ll really try not to.

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What kinda friendships have you?

May 11, 2007 at 6:14 pm (family, friends, love)

There are a few things in life you should always be grateful for. One of those things is the presence of good friends. It doesn’t matter if they’ve been with you for life or if they’ve been with you for a few years. If they’re there, they care (cheesy ne?). Some I hardly see and only occasionally email, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about them.
Seriously though – I have cut out all the people who pretended to be my friends because they were taking too much of my spirit. Poisonous friends, I call them. They’re the ones who sap your strength, your energy and your goodwill. And not to mention your wallet.
No matter how bad you feel or how guilty they make you feel (manipulation is one of their key characteristics), you need to cut them loose. Let them go. Clear your space because they’ll just bring you down.
Once you’ve cut away the dead wood you’ll have the ones who love you, care about you and will help you wipe away the snot when you’re too weak to lift your hand.
They’re the ones who will tell your man he’s a doos but support you if you stay with him. They’re the ones who will appreciate your inner beauty – because that’s what makes you special. Not the size of your boobs or the colour of your eyes or the length of your legs.
These are the friends you should treasure because they’ll be there no matter what. Mountains, oceans, Mango flights and frequent flyer miles doesn’t matter to them because when they’re with you in spirit, that’s all that counts.
To all my friends: thanks for being in my life and making it all worth it.

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Another wedding down

May 7, 2007 at 9:02 am (family, marriage)

Everything was beautiful. The bride looked radiant and happy; the groom couldn’t stop smiling and the setting was magical. I wore a skirt (!) which was fortunate because most of the women were very smartly dressed and I would’ve stood out like a sore thumb in my usual garb.
The food was superb and I met lots of aunts and uncles who from hereon know who the lady in my partner’s life is. They were all quite friendly and fortunately, I didn’t have to resort to drink to quell any nerves.
And, as usual, people asked my partner and I when we’re tying the knot…sigh…can’t people leave well enough alone with that topic already? I have a good mind to get married tomorrow in a magistrates court and send everyone an email/sms informing them of this development. Ok, I’m kidding, but if one more person asks…

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Who are you calling coloured?

April 18, 2007 at 9:54 pm (family, friends, private personal space)

So who are you anyway?
This question – some would call it esoteric – was first raised by Mrs M and it spun out to quite a debate. Who are you? What is your identity? Do you have a problem with being called coloured?
Tricky one this because it’s actually so loaded. Unless you’re very sure of who you are, where you come from and where you’re going.

Is being coloured related to false teeth, gatsby’s (although a friend from Malmesbury says they only do chip rolls); is it pickled fish (as mentioned in a previous post); is it kitting out your car in the latest mags and sound systems (even if it’s a skedonk); is it talking about “keeping you white” when you don’t acknowledge old friends in public places; is it struggling with not being white enough or not being black enough; is it never wanting to pay for something when you can get a freebie; is it loving Fiela se Kind; is it feeling anxious when you saw the play Bacchus in die Boland; is it not knowing where you fit in in the fabric of South African society; is it having fond memories of going to see the coons at Green Point stadium while your mom bought your sausage rolls (with cheapy tomato sauce) at a vendor in the Gardens; is it feeling a connection with the sea…I could go on.

The problem with being any kind of label is that it comes with baggage of all kinds. Whether you’re black or white or coloured – every group has a negative connotation attached to their labels. But it is up to us to remember the positive aspects of our collective identities and encourage these ones to flow readily.
If you allow people to take control of identity and define its parameters for you…well then you’re screwed. But you shouldn’t allow that anyway. I am who I am because I want to be this way.

My friend asked me to say what I am in one line. My answer: I am a 24-year-old South African woman. That is all.

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Getting to know your friends

April 18, 2007 at 9:21 pm (colleagues and friends, family)

1.      Beach, mountains or city? Beach and mountains
2.      If you could have one super power, what would it be? Reading minds – I’m quite curious.
3.      The last CD you bought? Lots of jazz greats for my dad
4.      What’s under your bed? Nothing
5.      If you could have any job you wanted what would it be? I already have the best job – magazine journalist.
6.      First thing you think of in the morning? It’s too dark, there must be some mistake.
7.      Worst feeling in the world? Knowing you’ve hurt someone and not knowing how to make up for it.
8.      Favourite magazine? Local: Marie Claire; International: Vanity Fair, New Scientist
9.      Technology or art? Technology (this is a blog after all…)
10.  What’s your favourite kitchen item? Anything that makes coffee.
11.  What is your favorite colour? What does it mean/symbolise to you? Black – it’s just so right.
12.  Future child’s name? Kids? Ha, ha. Riiiiggggghhhht.
13.  What words do you like the sound of or the way they are spelled? Lekka, blêrrie, dêmmit and the way my partner says my name (all sounds).
14.  What was the first pop concert you went to? Never been. Does a school concert count?
15.  What do you think of Bob Dylan? He’s ultra cool and most of the people I care about like him. Plus Cate Blanchett could play him convincingly – he clearly has a female touch.
16.  What characteristics do you think you’ve inherited from your parents?My dad’s mad driving skills and stubbornness; my mom’s generosity, empathy and sensitivity.
17.  Which actor/actress would you have play yourself in a film? Sophia Loren – have you seen her age 70+?
18.  What do you never leave home without? Smokes, gum, wallet, cellphone, keys, tissues
19.  Who would you most like to meet?Roald Dahl
20.  What music would you like to have played at your funeral? Something that will make people cry even more because they better be missing the great Toby Hanks.
21.  When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Yes, except when I have invaders on my face which is fortunately limited to once in a while.
22.  Who is the person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to? I don’t want to talk to anyone in my past that I’m no longer talking to now; I’ve only encouraged the relationships that mean something to me. I think.
23.  What is your greatest weakness? I never forget a slight.
24.  What is your greatest ambition? To be the best person I can be.
25.  Ever dated someone you met online? Nope.

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Waves of relief

April 18, 2007 at 8:50 am (colleagues and friends, family)

The operation was a success. *ridiculously giddy laughter as relief settles in* Thank whatever powers there are for that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I spoke to my friend’s dad last night and he says everything went well; he’s in ICU for now but he’s going to be just fine.I won’t reveal all the details – it’s for him to decide if he wants to share – but his dad has asked me to spread the word and let everyone know he’s ok (he’s not answering his phone yet so it’s mass communication for now). He still has to be checked out and recover (brain surgery can do that to you) but *smiling with joy* He is OK. He may look slightly different when you next see him. In physical dimensions his name won’t match his size. But inside, he’ll always be our big-hearted Blou Bul Beer…

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Regrets and other vague memories

April 17, 2007 at 9:04 am (colleagues and friends, family, friends)

My friend has gone in for his op today. I tried calling him but he’s on his way already. I should’ve called him two days ago, I know, but waited until it’s too late. Sigh. Just another thing to regret. In that spirit I’m listing five things I’ve regretted doing this year. But also five things I have absolutely no regrets about.

1. That I didn’t phone my friend sooner.
2. Not spending enough time with my family and friends.
3. Keeping quiet about things that made me unhappy.
4. Not reading enough books.
5. Not taking more holidays and planning overseas trips.

No regrets:
1. Applying for a new job then declining even when I got it because it wasn’t the right thing at the right time.
2. Only spending time with the people I love and/or care about.
3. Not eating any more pies.
4. Weeding out undesirables from my life.
5. Starting this blog.

 I very seldom reflect on things I’ve done – whether right or wrong, but sometimes it helps to get a little push in the right direction. Sometimes we just need to think about the things we’ve done and where we’re going.
Tell someone you love them today still.

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Home is where the heart is

March 28, 2007 at 6:19 am (family, home)

I love visiting my family. It’s such a nice way to unwind. I don’t have to think, explain, discuss, engage, or any of those other things I do everywhere else. I can just sit and stare at a wall if I wanted to.
I don’t, of course, because in my family there’s never a quiet moment. It’s the nosiest, most raucous place I know and I love it. Everyone talks and everyone thinks their story is most important. I usually only stay for a few hours so there’s always a mad dash to get stories in first and the battle for talk-time grows more ferocious as the clock continues ticking.
I can’t imagine living in my parental home ever again; it’s been too long since I’ve been living alone. But I will always come back here time after time. You know what they say about home being where the heart is.

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