How we have changed

May 10, 2007 at 8:10 am (chocolate, diets, exercise, fat rolls, friends)

“Toby, you were so thin at varsity,” B says when looking at some pics of me way back when (ok, ok, three years ago). “You’re nogal a bit chubbier now, ne?” Yes, point this out while I’m in my Lindt-gorging phase, old buddy, old pal. Just what I need after a hellish week. I still love you to bits though and will have an extra bit of chocolate to celebrate your keen observation skills.

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I have boobs and bums

April 24, 2007 at 8:44 pm (advertising, annoying, diets, exercise, fat rolls, weight, wellbeing)

I’m a big, loathsome fatass.
At least that’s what some women’s magazines would have me believe (more about that in a different post later). Apparently being anything over a size 10 is a social crime akin to saying you lust after your brother. At least I haven’t reached that level of depravity, right?
Anyway, back to the weight and my new issues with it. Rossgen and I hit the stores because she needed to look fabulicious (her word) for a function she had to attend. I have a wedding to attend so thought I’d try on a few things while in the shop. MISTAKE!
Not since the days when I sulked out of Hilton Weiner’s child-sized-clothing stores have I felt so bad about my body. I mean, hello: I have bums and boobs; a bit of cushioning on the hip and long limbs. Am I such a freak that no store has clothes that fit me?
Apart from the obvious “shall I take a 12/14/16 because they’re never the same”, anything that looks remotely stylish only comes in sizes 10 and below. And when I do fit on a size 12/14 it looks like a sausage caught in it’s skin when you’re frying it in a pan. Yuck.
Now, of course, you could say, um, Toby, maybe it’s because you’re “well-endowed”? Well-endowed my ass. I am a normal, healthy (ok, so I’m semi-healthy because I smoke and eat junk) young woman.
I have a healthy BMI of 22,5 according to the Mayo Clinic (click on Metric to get our measurements). I have normal curves and I’m quite happy with them so why can’t all those losers who make clothes try and make me spend my money?
Do they have any idea how starved curvy women are for nice clothes that fit – here’s a whole untapped industry I say. And African lasses don’t want the skinny tie-me-to-a-pole-so-I-don’t-blow-away kind of waists.
Unless of course I’m in the minority in which case I’ll just have to fume and continue my search for a good tailor/dressmaker to cover my bootylicious body.

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Kick that bag

March 28, 2007 at 6:20 am (exercise, frustrated, mauy thai)

I miss doing mauy thai. No matter what anyone says I didn’t just do it for one week! Yes you naysayers, I did exercise…Those of you who know me very well know of my severe reaction to any forms of exercise. I just don’t do it. It’s not a word that exists in my vocab but mauy thai was different. Apart from the skipping and stupid lunge/crawl/lie-on-the-floor bits, it was an excellent way to stay fit and cool off after work.
There I could learn how to kick ass and take out all my frustrations on a punching bag. And not just a pissy one like you see in those boxing movies. These were moerse bags that could knock you to the ground if you weren’t careful.
I would give anything to be able to punch, kick and hit that bag right now. Someone please make sure annoying girl does not want to come over to talk to me.

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