A rose by any other name

May 15, 2007 at 9:23 am (annoying, ego, frustrated, fury)

Name changes bother me. Tshwane/Pretoria; Louis Trichardt/Makhado…it has potential to go on and on.
It bothers me not because I want a particular name put up there – it really means nothing to me. I don’t know any of the people they want to name streets after so I couldn’t give a flying you-know-what.
I just don’t give a damn. And neither does the lady who lives in a shack and doesn’t have a street name, much less a city name she cares about. Nor does the single mother whose babydaddy beat the crap out of her and she has to hide in whatever hole she can to survive.
Does the teenager who’s on tik care about the name of street or city in which he’s smoking himself mif? Does the young man dying of Aids care that a Venda king or an Afrikaner icon’s name graces the roadside boards next to his hospice?
The young gay couple don’t seem to care about name changes because they’re constantly dealing with prejudice. Nor does the nine-year-old orphan because she only wants some food. I don’t see the tattooed gangster worrying about having the right name on a business card – and I don’t think the mother of the child who died by that gangster’s gun is thinking of those names either.
See, name changes bother me because the only people who really seem to bother with name changes are those who have no other worries. The people who care have homes, food, safe lives and future prospects. They have the time to waste taxpayers money because they have no other cares in the world.
Yes, politician, I’m talking about you.

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What I love about my body

May 15, 2007 at 8:07 am (brag, diets, ego, fat rolls, hormones, love, nice girls, private personal space)

Usually when you ask a woman what she loves about her body she’ll list all the things she hates. My ass is fat; I hate my thighs; My skin is bad, etc. She could go on. Because women are conditioned to be modest; to think a celebration of their bodies is a bad characteristic, they’ll always find something wrong. Well enough is enough.
Let’s think about what we love about our bodies. There must be at least one thing. Just one. Once you’ve identified it, think of another, and another and another until you have at least five.
I’ve sat long and hard thinking of what I like about my body. It was difficult to get five but here goes:
1. My hands. They’re slim with long fingers. They look graceful when I wave and they can type a document in very little time.
2. My legs. They’re long and beautifully shaped.
3. My eyes are a boring brown but have a lovely shape and sparkle prettily when I’m happy.
4. My feet are smaller than the average person of my height. They’re kinda quirky.
5. My cleavage is not too big and not too small. Perfect.
What do you like about yours?

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Being beautiful

May 9, 2007 at 8:01 am (brain, ego)

Batman says beautiful people are cool. He likes them and lists his faves here. But what I want to know is what, exactly, is beauty? How do you define it? Is it a physical/ mental/ emotional thing or a combination of it all?
I remember seeing one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever laid eyes on (in the flesh and on screen) at varsity. Yet the minute he opened his mouth his handsome looks were instantly diminished. Not only was he superficial, he was the most vacuous thing ever.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m as much for eye-candy as the next girl, but if a guy doesn’t really know the difference between Descartes and Dakar he won’t ring my bell at all.

Some other no-no’s in men (apart from being related to a bag of hammers):
– Dirty hands and bitten nails (vomit-inducing stuff, this)
– Referring to women as chicks
– Talking to my chest as if my face was situated there
– Thinking he’s smarter than me and being dumb enough to believe it’s true (ha!)
– Sandals and socks together (c’mon, seriously, what were you thinking?!)
– Not reading or watching films
– Not willing to kill any flying, crawling or creeping insect that crosses my path (not negotiable – you just gotta do it)
– Freaking out at having to do shopping which includes buying “girl stuff” (you know what I’m talking about)
– Treating any woman badly or without respect
– Wearing a wig, plucking his eyebrows or shaving his legs (that’s why we have GBFs) 

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Which mask am I wearing today?

April 26, 2007 at 8:02 am (brain, colleagues and friends, ego, private personal space)

So I got my MTBI test results. Interesting stuff but mostly things I knew. Like the fact that I’m a bit of a procrastinator or as they call it, “pressure-prompted”; not very social; prefer concepts instead of concrete little details…you know, all the obvious stuff . What I didn’t see coming was the fact that I can appear cold to those who don’t know me. Geez, really? And here I thought I was a likeable person… 

But it got me thinking: how do we know we’re presenting the selves we want others to see? Yes, we all wear masks and change them according to where we are and who we’re with, but generally, we want people to see us in a certain way, right? 

So what else do I think I’m showing to the world that is seen in a completely different way to that which I intended? If I didn’t know that I can appear cold/unemotional/tough to those who don’t know me really well, what else is there about me that I don’t get (and that hasn’t been answered in this test)?

I mean, do I truly come across as the person I am? Personal experience says not always, except to the people who bother to get to know me (according to the test, I’m also very private and it’s hard to share my emotions. Ahem,  shock, um, horror).

I chatted to a colleague about this thing of how we see ourselves and what others see us to be and she mentioned a few examples of people who have no idea others are terrified of them/think they’re funny/think they’re weak/think they’re dramatic, etc. Funnily, to me, there wasn’t a question that that’s exactly how the people she mentioned comes across. But she insists they have no idea of that facet of their personalities which makes me think I am missing out a lot on the person that is myself.

But now what does that mean? I suppose I should ask people what they really think of me and how they perceive me. Might not like all of what they have to say but probably insightful to hear it anyway.
And it would be a good thing to talk to others and practice chit-chat because, apparently, I hate small talk and will only participate in deep, meaningful conversations…now why would they think that?

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Winners and losers

March 23, 2007 at 6:56 am (awards, brag, ego)

What do you say to someone who comes to you and says you have to check the newspaper so you congratulate them (the paper carried a report of those nominated for an award)? You tell them to excuse you because you need to run to the loo to puke. That’s what.
Jissie, this girl who studied with me, Mary, is such an egomaniac she’s going out of her way to tell people she’s been nominated for one of the most prestigious journalism awards in SA. But wait, it’s not even for something she came up with. So ja, niggie brêk op skuld.
She’s such a pathetic excuse for a human being and it was a sad day indeed when Mary was born…

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