What women want

November 12, 2007 at 9:33 am (abuse against women, advertising) (, , , , , , , , , )

Do advertisers think we’re stupid? Really man – do they think all women are brainless tits with nothing more than childbearing capabilities?

I’m starting to believe that’s the case. Just take these three ads. If you’re familiar with them, you don’thave to read the descriptions. Just give your comments on what you think of them.

I’m almost sure there is not a single woman on the teams who created these ads (bar those acting in the actual ad) – and if there are, shame on them for being part of such garbage.

I just wish I knew how many women still go out and buy the stuff based on the rubbish we’re fed on our screens.

1. Nivea Cellulite ad

Most vomit-inducing of the three – five or so girls sing an annoying song about how happy and great their lives are now they’re cellulite free. The Sex-in-the-Cityish vibe shows these women are carefree, flitting about in revealing clothes and being happy because their bodies are now perfect.
Firstly, they look as if they’ve never had cellulite in their entire lives.
Secondly, the fine print on the ad is so ridiculously small and flashes away so quickly that I’m sure it reveals a crucial fact (such as this study/statistic/fact was found in a study of three women. So two people saying they like it would be something like 75% women love it or some other crap like that).
Thirdly, why are we still perpetuating the myth that those cellulite creams work and that we need to be cellulite-free to be beautiful?
And lastly, why do we create ads for men when we’re selling stuff for women?

2. Kellogg’s Special K muesli

Unbelievable. Not as in this-is-unbelievably-great. More as in this-is-such-crap-I-can’t-believe-they-made-it. In the ad a woman has been dumped by her boyfriend.
Her friends rally around as she laments, “He’s just not that into me.” In a twist on the classic stuffing her face after she’s been dumped thing, the friends hand Crying Carla a bowl of muesli. Presumably, this is supposed to perk her up in a way that the comfort food would have done.
In the next screen we see the dumpee “looking and feeling great” in a red dress dismissing her former beau with a flick of her blonde ponytail.

Geez. . . nobody with half a braincell would buy this bullshit. Nobody.

3. Zoot “unscripted” veet ad

It’s unscripted. Riiiggghtt. The two women in this ad (I think the one’s from Survivor and the other is Irene but can’t be 100% sure) discussing the great things Veet hair removal cream can do. It works for all skin types, the one gushes, so I’m recommending it to all my friends.
I know for a fact that’s nonsense because it burnt my skin badly but that’s not what sticks in my craw. It’s the little line that says “this is an unscripted advertisement” that made me think these people really are taking us for a gat.

I mean really, come the fuck on.


  1. madamm said,

    Toby Toby Toby, how SPOT ON you always are…
    From the bottom up…the Veet ad is CRAP. Please. And that’s jacinda louw with that ozzie woman yes, she was in Survivor, Pampoentjie went to her wedding on Saturday and she got robbed last week sometime of her R150 000 engagement ring (Jacinda, not Pampoentjie). Unscripted, my cellulicious backside!!
    No comment about the Kelloggs ad (haven’t seen it I don’t think).
    My question is: WHAT ARE THEY SINGING IN THAT NIVEA AD????! Goodbye, munch little monsters….goodbye…

  2. kash99 said,

    OMG..i agree with madamm, you always have it spot on..every time I see that freaking nivea ad..i wonder where am i guna get enough buckets to throw up in..jurre and that jar of shit is so expensive, yes i went to look!!!!
    And i have never met a girl who got over a man after a bowl of mueslie..what a load of k*k..
    I dont pay much attention to the veet ads..mostly becos i wasnt really blessed with hair, well anywhere, except on my head (I think God went a bietjie overboard there, prob trying to make up for the fact that he forgot about my underarms and legs, I shouldnt be complaining should I???)

  3. Toby Hanks said,

    Kash, you shouldn’t be complaining about no hair on legs and underarms, no! And why on earth did you go look for the nivea goeters? Were you planning to use it or just to see how much it costs?
    MrsM – I don’t know what they’re singing but it’s bloody annoying! Will let you know if I ever figure out what it is.

  4. kash99 said,

    Dont worry dear..i’m not complaing…meisie, my weight goes up and down and u know what that means..focken lots of cellulite..honestly i dunno where the hell it all came from suddenly..i never used to have so much!! But now, i wouldnt dare wear a shorts or a dress that shows just a bietjie thigh..so ja i was just looking..if it was payday, i prob woulda bought it..its all in the mind, u mos know!

  5. madamm said,

    I made peace with my cellulite. Take it or leave it…and I don’t wear white pants.
    In general, I think white pants look a little tacky, unless worn with a suit of some kind.
    Or maybe that’s just me.

  6. Toby Hanks said,

    MrsM, white is indeed tacky on most of us. Even old Vicky Beckham.
    Kash, that shit DOES NOT WORK. Meisie, you of all people should know that’s advertising shit.

  7. Louisa said,

    Urgh! The Special K add I hate…

    Let me tell you…If someone EVER gave me bowl of Special K in a situation like that there would be a small explosion. Good grief, she’d be lucky if I just made her wear it.

  8. www.cellulitediary.info » What women want said,

    […] tbhanks placed an observative post today on What women want.Here’s a quick excerpt:Most vomit-inducing of the three – five or so girls sing an annoying song about how happy and great their lives are now they’re cellulite free. The Sex-in-the-Cityish vibe shows these women are carefree, flitting about in revealing … […]

  9. Toby Hanks said,

    LOL Louisa. I would probably do exactly the same thing you propose!

  10. kash99 said,

    I do know that its just advertising..but we all still hang to that small hope..oh bite me alright!!!

  11. Toby Hanks said,

    Ag Kash, don’t mind me. Of course you’re free to do whatever you want. I just think those advertisers take advantage of the fact that women are still supposed to be seen as young, supple and thin before they’re acceptable to society and i find it awful that we buy into that. But I’m not judging you at all ok!!!

  12. kash99 said,

    Ì know man..chill! i’m just a little on edge cos all my stories are so gloomy and sad..i cant remember when last i did a frivolous and happy story..and anyway, most of the time i dont give a shit about cellulite..ek loop in any case nie kaal nie..u mos know i’m Moslem!!!

  13. Toby Hanks said,

    Ha, ha. Right you are. Jirre, don’t talk about depressing stories please. I’m up to my eyeballs in depressing stories. I’m soema naar just thinking about it. We really live in a fucked up country. 😦

  14. www.cellulitediary.info » What women want said,

    […] tbhanks created an interesting post today on What women want.Here’s a short outline:Most vomit-inducing of the three – five or so girls sing an annoying song about how happy and great their lives are now they’re cellulite free. The Sex-in-the-Cityish vibe shows these women are carefree, flitting about in revealing … […]

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