Foolish thoughts

April 16, 2007 at 8:28 am (religion)

God is gay.
That’s what I want to send in to the letters page of a Cape Town Afrikaans newspaper (no points for guessing…) that’s been buzzing with the homosexuality-and-the-church debate. Nothing new, of course, but the responses via sms and letters are of the most shocking utterances I have seen in my lifetime and I think I should send in such a message to stir the pot a bit. Vitriolic homophobes spew forth their uninformed opinions in the newspaper’s pages and reading it could send you to the bottle if you’re not strong. What I don’t understand is why people feel so strongly about homosexuality being in the “Sin Circle”.
How, I would like someone to explain to me, is being gay wrong? Any person with half a braincell (not brainwashed by the church that is) would know that homosexuality is not a choice. If it was, why would so many people put themselves through purgatory and the pain of being called an aberration?I have, on two occasions, been shown the door because I’ve defended someone’s right to be gay – both times by family members. Gotta love the blood ties, you do. So the newspaper debate usually gets my blood boiling and reminded me of something that happened last year. At my grandfather’s funeral, a church elder who’d led my grandpa’s funeral service and happened to be an uncle’s father told me the Church was organising a march against gay marriages. I should attend and write about it, he said. The conversation (in the hall after the burial) went something like this (I don’t recall the exact words, but you’ll get the gist).
Church elder: You journalist people can spread the word. Write about The Gays and their stupid ideas. Sinning against God… [pops samoosa in mouth]
TB: What?! I am totally and absolutely against the idea of doing that. [Shocked expression and nearly falling over on heels]
CE: Yes, yes, that’s why you must come. You must come support us against The Gays.
TB: No, you don’t understand. I will never support that.
CE: I agree. That’s why you can join us. We can stand strong and show The Gays they’re wrong. [Another samoosa enters the hole]
TB: Excuse me, but you don’t get it. I think gay people should be allowed to marry if they want. I don’t support the idea of your march. [Barely concealing distaste]
CE: [choking on samoosa. spluttering] What? Oh God. Are you…are you saying you agreewith them? Do you want them to get married?! [screaming and drawing stares from other funeralgoers]
TB: Well, yes. I think it’s awful that you want to stop it.
CE: I thought you were raised well. Oh God. Your poor parents; how must they feel? How can you say that? How…
TB: I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous. You just don’t get it. And leave my parents out of this. [About to explode but trying to be calm]
CE: NO, this isn’t right. God made Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve. [jabbing air to emphasise point]
TB: [removing heels to make walking away easier] I can’t stand this. Excuse me, I am not going to fight with you here. This is ridiculous and beneath me to argue with such stupidity. 

I am glad I’m not religious. A vengeful God is a bad God. And no God is better than a homophobic god. Now I’m going off to talk to one of The Gays, then have a chat with one of The Blacks (but let’s leave that for another post…)



  1. MrsM said,

    Interesting take on things. Often I have asked myself the same thing, why people waste R1,50 to tell everyone else they’re homophobic. I am religious, but good on you Toby. I wish he choked on his samoosa

  2. tbhanks said,

    He choked and spluttered and went ballistic. I just stalked off with hundreds of eyes following me. Needless to say I was persona non grata for a while and everyone was talking about how I embarassed my family…I nearly burst another blood vessel when I heard about that.

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